GOP Imbecile Trump Just Claimed He’ll Sue Univision Over Miss USA Drop

trump claimed lawsuit
Photo credit: Gage Skidmore -- via Wikimedia Commons

This morning, my brain claimed I still had my parents’ copy of?Trump: The Game.?While searching, my brain suddenly recanted. I sold it for $3 at a garage sale years ago because the failed board game, much like its creator, is a bloated, frustrating piece of garbage.

trump claimed lawsuit
Photo credit: Gage Skidmore — via Wikimedia Commons

The mouth-breathing hairpiece has recently come out and claimed he will be suing Univision, a Spanish-language network based in San Antonio, Texas. Univision announced they will not air Trump’s Miss USA pageant. The network’s decision is in response to some really horrifying and blatantly asinine “facts” The Donald claimed during his announcement speech earlier this month.

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”

Trump has further claimed his lawsuit would be in the amount of “hundreds of millions of dollars,” presumably while putting his pinky to his mouth, as sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads swam in a tank below his feet.

Speaking to TMZ, he claimed that Univision is currently locked into a solid?5-year deal with Trump’s Miss Universe Organization, and claimed that his lawsuit is valid because Univision has no legal right to back out of the deal.

Trump claimed Univision backed out because of pressure from the Mexican government, because of course Trump would claim that. Thankfully, Trump has a master plan on how to deal with the Mexican government.

“I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall.”

Please, Trump, tell me how you’re going to force the Mexican government to pay for your wall. After all, you did such a great job forcing people to pay for Trump Vodka.

Maybe I’m being a little too hard on Trump for all this. After all, he’s claimed Univision would be in breach of contract for refusing to air the Miss USA pageant. He’s also claimed to have “great respect for Mexico” and love for the Mexican people. I mean, it’s not like Trump has ever expressed a racist sentiment.

“Our great African American president hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”

Oh… right…

Robert could go on about how he was raised by honey badgers in the Texas Hill Country, or how he was elected to the Texas state legislature as a 19-year-old wunderkind, or how he won 219 consecutive games of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots against Hugh Grant, but those would be lies. However, Robert does hail from Lewisville, Texas, having been transplanted from Fort Worth at a young age. Robert is a college student and focuses his studies on philosophical dilemmas involving morality, which he feels makes him very qualified to write about politicians. Reading the Bible turned Robert into an atheist, a combative disposition toward greed turned him into a humanist, and the fact he has not lost a game of Madden football in over a decade means you can call him "Zeus." If you would like to be his friend, you can send him a Facebook request or follow his ramblings on Twitter. For additional content that may not make it to Liberal America, Robert's internet tavern, The Zephyr Lounge, is always open


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here