I have an interesting theory as to why Donald Trump yells all of the time — and it’s based on science and animal behavior.
The journal, Current Biology, published a study about male howler monkeys. They roar to attract mates, scare off predators, and other things. The study found that the monkeys who gave off the loudest, deepest roars had the smallest testicles and the lowest amount of sperm.
Dr. Jacob Dunn, an anthropologist, said this about the study:
“The results of our acoustic analyses show that howler monkeys produce roars at a similar frequency as tigers, which is far lower than we would have predicted from their body size, yet exactly what would be predicted from measuring their giant vocal folds’ which are three times bigger than in a human.”
The theory is that evolution led to the monkeys having larger vocal chords, but they have smaller reproductive organs. It’s an evolutionary give and take.
“The whole organism is so tied together that when slight variations in one part occur, and are accumulated through natural selection, other parts become modified.”
Here’s a video of howler monkeys howling. Tell me this doesn’t sound like the GOP debates?
Eureka! We have a theory about Trump. He yells the loudest because his testicles are small. He already has the tiny hands. We even had a Political Action Committee (PAC) started to point out his tiny hands. They called out Trump to “release the measurements.” They said:
“With our national security at risk, Donald Trump must release his official hand measurements to the American people. Only when his finger length and palm girth are public can the American people confidently cast their ballots.”
And how about this, from NextShark:
The researchers speculate that this is because howler monkeys want to give the impression that they are bigger than they actually are. Dr. Dunn proposed:
“It may be that investment in developing a large vocal organ and roaring is so costly that there is simply not enough energy left to invest in testes.
“Alternatively, using a large vocal organ for roaring may be so effective at deterring rival males that there is no need to invest in large testes.”
This looks just like the Republican debate stage.
During one of the presidential debates, Donald Trump got into a measuring contest with one of the other candidates. He said:
“And, he referred to my hands — ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
Rubio went on and countered him with:
“He’s always calling me Little Marco,” “And I’ll admit he’s taller than me. He’s like 6’2″, which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2″. And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them.”
Here is a College Humor video about Donald Trump and his teeny tiny manly parts:
Also, I have discovered a hashtag I missed on the list I did yesterday: #TrumpShowUsYourPenis.
Just do it bro
— Jacod Hamerslough (@JacodHamerslou1) August 3, 2016
Before November, show us your member! #TrumpShowUsYourPenis
— Greybeard (@DaddyGreybeard) July 29, 2016
— The Tree From One Tree Hill (@EvilPhilmon) June 24, 2016